"I'm done. I'm moving to Argentina," she said, her eyes red with tears.
For the next three days eurofly is running $399 round-trip flights to Italy and I just spent the last fifteen minutes trying to convince my boyfriend that we have to go. Keeping in mind that I currently boast a checking account settled at $600 and a credit card bill of $250 (must remember to pay that btw), I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when his response was a terse "We can't afford it."
Actually, my surprise was pretty minimal and after a moment’s thought I realized that I wasn't really asking to go. No, I was asking to talk about going. Like so many others before me, I was fortunate enough to spend the now ubiquitous semester abroad. http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/22/72-study-abroad/ I visited Italy twice during that time and am always looking for the chance to work the experience into a conversation.
But I'm not snooty about it, though I have been called that. I'm not trying to brag. I just want to talk about it. To confirm its place in my history before it becomes a mere collection of digital photos that my faulty processor could delete at any moment. I've seen this behaviour (London was my home those days) in many collegians that have traveled there and back again. The dog days of graduation (which seems to be my biggest trope) have brought about even more of this talk as we suddenly become free from obligation and face the opportunity to return to Firenze, New South Wales, Seville, or venture on to Buenos Ares.
I think, though, that, like my conversation with the boyfriend, this impulse is more about the possibility than the execution. Travel abroad had become our American dream. We can imagine ourselves anywhere, doing anything, with the freedom to move on whenever we please. And with an understanding family in tow (that you like but not enough to continue living with them), we could come home at anytime, postponing the process of entering the s0-called real world.
Leaving for Italy with $-50 in my pocket and only marginal language skills is an invigorating contrast to the steady job with excellent benefits I might be offered next week. During a recent interview I started to get nervous as I began to really picture myself at a committed position. What if this isn't what I want? I thought, in spite of the fact that this job description includes everything that I am looking for.
College was an amazing time of personal growth, learning from others, and freedom. I think that I am terrified of losing that; of becoming dull and lazy. The promise of going abroad makes me feel like it is possible to continue that growth forever until I become the jetsetter I always imagined myself to be.
But stagnation, like growth, is a lifestyle choice. What I need to focus on is pursuing what I really want. While travel promises many of these things, they can also be found anywhere in my life. If I choose to learn, grow, and live, then I will always feel alive, no matter where I am. So that's what I'm choosing. I don't need to run away to find it and I don't need to just dream about it either. I can make it happen every day by employing the same wonderment and love that I did in school.
So I’m not saying that going abroad is a mistake, I’m only saying that staying here doesn’t mean that we will become boring or, worse yet, our parents. If this is my American Dream, to live with adventure, then I'm going to do that right here. I know that the challenges I embark on now are not forever and that I may just find myself on the Danube in two years time. For now I intend to master a field and stabilize my relationship. It's not that I'm giving up going away, it's that I've realized that staying here is not the kiss of death. Life is a long and twisted path and I know that I will find myself in many places during it. I'm taking responsibility for my own happiness and not relocating it to Aix en Provence. I am, however, going to brush up on my French. Just in case.
For the next three days eurofly is running $399 round-trip flights to Italy and I just spent the last fifteen minutes trying to convince my boyfriend that we have to go. Keeping in mind that I currently boast a checking account settled at $600 and a credit card bill of $250 (must remember to pay that btw), I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when his response was a terse "We can't afford it."
Actually, my surprise was pretty minimal and after a moment’s thought I realized that I wasn't really asking to go. No, I was asking to talk about going. Like so many others before me, I was fortunate enough to spend the now ubiquitous semester abroad. http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/22/72-study-abroad/ I visited Italy twice during that time and am always looking for the chance to work the experience into a conversation.
But I'm not snooty about it, though I have been called that. I'm not trying to brag. I just want to talk about it. To confirm its place in my history before it becomes a mere collection of digital photos that my faulty processor could delete at any moment. I've seen this behaviour (London was my home those days) in many collegians that have traveled there and back again. The dog days of graduation (which seems to be my biggest trope) have brought about even more of this talk as we suddenly become free from obligation and face the opportunity to return to Firenze, New South Wales, Seville, or venture on to Buenos Ares.
I think, though, that, like my conversation with the boyfriend, this impulse is more about the possibility than the execution. Travel abroad had become our American dream. We can imagine ourselves anywhere, doing anything, with the freedom to move on whenever we please. And with an understanding family in tow (that you like but not enough to continue living with them), we could come home at anytime, postponing the process of entering the s0-called real world.
Leaving for Italy with $-50 in my pocket and only marginal language skills is an invigorating contrast to the steady job with excellent benefits I might be offered next week. During a recent interview I started to get nervous as I began to really picture myself at a committed position. What if this isn't what I want? I thought, in spite of the fact that this job description includes everything that I am looking for.
College was an amazing time of personal growth, learning from others, and freedom. I think that I am terrified of losing that; of becoming dull and lazy. The promise of going abroad makes me feel like it is possible to continue that growth forever until I become the jetsetter I always imagined myself to be.
But stagnation, like growth, is a lifestyle choice. What I need to focus on is pursuing what I really want. While travel promises many of these things, they can also be found anywhere in my life. If I choose to learn, grow, and live, then I will always feel alive, no matter where I am. So that's what I'm choosing. I don't need to run away to find it and I don't need to just dream about it either. I can make it happen every day by employing the same wonderment and love that I did in school.
So I’m not saying that going abroad is a mistake, I’m only saying that staying here doesn’t mean that we will become boring or, worse yet, our parents. If this is my American Dream, to live with adventure, then I'm going to do that right here. I know that the challenges I embark on now are not forever and that I may just find myself on the Danube in two years time. For now I intend to master a field and stabilize my relationship. It's not that I'm giving up going away, it's that I've realized that staying here is not the kiss of death. Life is a long and twisted path and I know that I will find myself in many places during it. I'm taking responsibility for my own happiness and not relocating it to Aix en Provence. I am, however, going to brush up on my French. Just in case.
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